Pictured: An example of one of the most delightful and symbolic embodiments of what used to be the American Dream — Walt Disney’s Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida.
The “Happiest Place on Earth” just got a little happier—at least for people who abhor the concepts of personal responsibility and individual liberty. Thanks to the City of Orlando, and the tax dollars of diligent Americans who actually work for a living—otherwise known as “stimulus money”—such folks are finally getting their just due. Yes, even though they thought it couldn’t get any better than to elect a president who fills your gas tank and pays your mortgage (to paraphrase the words of a Florida resident during the 2008 campaign), the good Kool-Aid sipping leaders of the city made the day of entitlement creatures nationwide by announcing the construction of a new highway bearing President Barack Obama’s name.
As if that alone weren’t enough cause for celebration in entitlement land, Orlando officials also proclaimed that the stimulus-funded road will lead directly to a new theme park, The Marxist Kingdom. Tossing aside such antiquated, capitalistic notions like paying for your own admission, those who wish to enter the park will be able to force others to pay for it before returning to their productive jobs including, you know, actually running and maintaining the place.
Once inside, nanny-staters can choose from a vast array of attractions including Tyranny Square, an improvement upon Disney’s abhorrently “jingoistic” Liberty Square; It’s A Totalitarian World After All, featuring animatronics of Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Josef Stalin, assorted suicide bombers, jihadists and other “freedom fighters”; and Stoning Mountain, a rollicking ride back to the 7th Century, where thrill seekers can virtually witness and/or participate in such uplifting activities as violently hurling rocks at infidels until they crumple into a heap of blood and broken bones. In Barack’s Haunted Mansion, those brave enough to board the ominous, black transport can experience the satisfaction of hearing America’s Founding Fathers roll over in their graves, while their plaintive wails of “We staked our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor for you lazy, ungrateful fools?!” pierce the air.
From Maim Street to Sharia-Ella’s Castle, there’s an endless array of attractions for the useful idiots to enjoy. And when they’re ready to take in a good, old-fashioned musical production, they can choose from several, including Burka and the Beast and The Lyin’ King. The Marxist Kingdom, coming soon to a failed socialist state near you—unless the events of November 2010 and November 2012 necessitate a fundamental “change” in its transformational blueprints.
Ok, so only the first paragraph of this intentionally snarky piece is based on an actual news event, the planned construction of a stimulus-financed highway in Orlando that will be named for Barack Obama. Isn’t that enough to merit a little sarcasm after a week filled with one outrage after another?
From the “troubling precedent” handed down by Judge Richard Roberts in the case of the firing of the independent AmeriCorps Inspector General Gerald Walpin (an event that hasn’t seemed to gain much traction in the media), to Obama’s anti-Constitutional, pro-Fascist shakedown of BP (and corresponding failure of hapless Republican leadership to capitalize on yet another teachable moment) — not to mention the bureaucratic nightmare that’s 1.) impeding clean-up efforts in the Gulf, and 2.) exacerbating the damage, let’s just say the decision of the so-called Orlando leaders to name a road after a man who is single-handedly destroying this great republic just hit me the wrong way. And the fact that it’s being done with funds they extorted from hard-working, tax-paying Americans just added fuel to the satirical fire.
That and, if not for tapping into my sense of humor, I’d probably go insane in the age of Obama. November cannot get here fast enough.